Where’s My Time Machine?

Why am I still living in the past? I can’t seem to put my time machine together to blast back to the present. I have to admit; it’s frustrating.

When a problem presents itself, there’s a split second where I ask what would the old me do? When I need to make a decision that change even the slightest norm in my life I think what would the old me do? Gosh even at the dam grocery store figuring out between the low fat and 2% milk what would the old me do? It has become more of a rule to consult my old self but how blind could I really be?

Could I be in such fear of growing up that it’s just easier to just retreat to a place where I knew what I was doing or more importantly, when I had confidence in myself. No I’m not a wreck with a pill bottle for my depression but is it still as bad when I feel like I should have one?

I really thought that this growing up thing wasn’t all what my mom was so desperately trying to warn me about. It was impossible to think I would ever be confused. Impossible to think my dreams wouldn’t have come true by 25. And impossible to be lost in a world where my identity is hiding itself from me.

So what do I do when the past comes in to snatch my present away?

I can’t sweat it. It is important to remember who I used to be but I have to know when to draw the line of what grows up with me. What characteristics would I like to still have about myself in the future. I have to set goals. Goals to provide a guideline for who I would like to be. Goals that would define me, providing a sense of worth and restoring my confidence.

You know that saying

Aim for the moon and even if you miss you will still land among the stars

 

It’s true.

Cheers,
TheDecader