I’d Like to Enjoy Growing Up

“Hey I’m at your door. I got some Merlot!”

The text message sprang at me effectively ruining my appetite for a peaceful night curled up with Rum Raisin and a meticulously rolled up joint.

Nevermind I had high hopes for Detective Amaro’s freedom on the finale of New York’s finest Special Victims Unit, but it was a Wednesday.

I get it; her 20’s were up at the stroke of midnight and the looming decade called for a night of drunk laughs and slurred i remember stories. In my heart I wanted so much to pull the energy from the soles of my feet and toast with her but the awkward quiet she opened my door to wasn’t the inviting she expected.

I know, I’m a horrible person and I should be hung up on a light pole to dry but I’m being honest. I didn’t want her company mainly because I didnt want to see myself turning 30. I didn’t want a reminder that my wrinkles were coming and my ass wouldn’t stay this firm forever. I didn’t want to see me in 6 years feeling like shit on the one day I used to be excited about getting my favorite ice cream and the biggest piece cake.

Nevertheless it wasn’t her fault it was a Wednesday and the least I could do is stroke her ego for a while. As the bottom of the Merlot bottle became more and more visible, she turned to me with a familiar stare and a look in her eyes. Almost as if she parted her lips to speak I heard her; I don’t wanna grow up.

I understood.

I don’t want to grow up either.
I didn’t like the word rent and food seems to get way more expensive after 21.

But growing up is only stressful because we haven’t changed our perception of it. I would’ve never been able to imagine myself doing things like grocery lists and actually washing dishes. As minute as that may sound it has become as much a part of my life as surviving.

I have grown into someone my youth would be excited for. Even though I’m not where my dreams had promised me I would land but I’m climbing and it’s important to enjoy that climb.

So many times I’ve found myself rushing to be somewhere without really taking the time to appreciate where I am in the moment.

Maybe I’m corny but I want to enjoy the little things too. I want to remember what the guy at the grocery wore to show off to the deli lady. I want to remember the squirrels who seem to be so in sync climbing that big old tree. I want to remember who I am and what I like before I become who I’m destined to be.

I’d like to enjoy growing up.

How about you?

Do you sometimes take the time to enjoy the little things?

Cheers,
TheDecader